Musings of an International Nomad

Critical thinking and reflection: why is it important?

2009-09-18T06:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to a talk at U.Mass, Amherst, by an amazing South African psychologist, Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela. I have heard Pumla talk before (also in Boston...why is it that I connect with more South Africans when I'm in the US than at home?!!) and have read her book about her experience on the South African Truth and Reconciliation Commission, A Human Being Died that Night. Her experience is definitely worth reading about, whether you're South African or not.

At the end of her talk last night she said something thought-provoking. In essence, she said that the most important thing we can put our efforts and resources into, in terms of helping societies move forward after trauma/upheaval, is to teach children to think critically. Really? Yup! You mean, not send in teams of psychologists, lawyers, find retribution or amnesty or whatever? It lies in education? The focus should be on the ones who were not even directly affected by it?

Interesting.

I have thought about this issue of critical thinking and reflection in the Zimbabwean context. After my several years there, I came to believe that many of the problems in that country were largely because of the schooling system and its teaching methodology, and that critical thinking is discouraged at a school and national level. But I've shied away from thinking critically about solutions to South Africa's problems. Frankly, to me, South Africa's problems seem too large, too intractable. And I have such mixed feelings, emotions, about what it means to be South African, that it's been more comfortable for me to leave South Africa's problems to....oh, those South Africans actually living in South Africa.

Last night felt like a personal challenge to me. Here I am, enjoying an incredible education at the University of Massachusetts. Why and how? Largely because I benefited from an excellent education in South Africa, and an undergraduate degree that cost me almost nothing due to South African state funding. I largely enjoyed those privileges for no reason of my own causation: because I happened to be born white, and, in then-apartheid South Africa, that meant privileged. Access to education, space, healthcare, everything really. So as a beneficiary of that privilege, does that leave me with some sort of responsibility to the country of my birth?

I have hedged that question for years, largely by going to Zimbabwe and spending time working there and allowing myself to feel like I was contributing to the region of my birth.

Taking this issue apart, breaking it into small pieces that I can look at, reflect on, then, hopefully, act on, is what I consider critical thinking: looking at an issue from multiple angles and reflecting on the consequences of multiple courses of action. So why is this important? And how should we teach it?

Why it is important is because for too long whole populations have followed orders, often without either the opportunity or the capacity to question it. And when they have questioned it has been in an instinctive manner rather than a calculated, reasoned one -- and often this has led to bloodshed and more. I strongly believe that for society to move forward in a progressive way, we need to learn how to not only trust our instincts, but also to trust our thought patterns. And we need to learn ways to train our thinking in ways that we can see or "mentalize" issues from different perspectives from our own. When we consider the effect of our action on other people and try to put ourselves in their shoes, that is when we will be making progress.

How do we teach it? Well, that's why I'm at school -- I'm trying to figure that one out!

A "new start" or a continuation?

2009-09-09T17:03:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I started grad school. A Masters in International Education at the University of Amherst. It's been very intimidating making that shift from conducting a class to receiving instruction; switching from instructor to student. I haven't been on the receiving end for almost 10 years! (oof, I feel a little old when I write that!!!) But the past few days have really got me thinking about my next steps. And what it is that keeps us growing as human beings. We go through this life being givers and takers of information. Hopefully we strike a balance between the two. I've really experienced the feeling of living and growing during the past 48 hours, in a way that I haven't for a while. So I guess it's time to learn.

So the next question I've been asking myself is this: Is this a new beginning for me or is it a continuation? I've decided that perhaps it's a bit of both. I thought it was a new beginning. I have a new home, a new zipcode, a new car (well, used, but new for me!), am no longer working fulltime, am studying, new friends, new grocery shops, new everything. But is it? Since starting classes less than 48 hours ago, I've discovered that life is a funny thing: we're actually learning all the time. Today I went to an international education policy class, thinking I knew absolutely nothing about it. But throughout the class realized that I have been affected by education policy since I can remember -- and have a wealth of experience simply through living! So while I may be in a new place, yes, and I may be making new friends...this next chapter is simply that: a new chapter. Not necessarily a new beginning of the story. Just an opportunity to expand my borders.

Yippee for expansion!

Homeless versus Nomadic

2009-08-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

It's been a long loooong time since I last posted to this blog. And during that time I've realized that in my mind there needs to be a distinction between being "Nomadic" and "Homeless." For several years I have felt "nomadic." But for much of the past year I have felt "homeless." Apparently there's a major difference. At least for me there is.

Since May 2008 I have felt distinctly homeless, after being asked to leave Zimbabwe at very short notice (note: euphemism!). Yes, a nomad wanders, but generally has a sense of direction; takes a traditional or established path; or follows a specific mission or purpose. I was caught unawares and had little time to whip up a plan. So I wandered somewhat aimlessly.

That aimless wandering included a hope of returning to Zimbabwe at some undefined date. Although that remains my hope, I discovered I needed a more definite plan. And I needed a home base. One of those two things has been established (enrolled in a Masters program in international ed) , and the other looks like it's not far away (a home-away-from-home).

Why is home important? The old saying goes "Home is where the heart is," and this has definitely been true for me. Although my thoughts and dreams often wander across the world to Africa and specifically to Zimbabwe, my heart is firmly here in the USA and I hope it will be for the next few years. It takes a commitment to be here, in a place I don't fully consider my "home" but that's definitely what it feels like right now.

Does home have to be a physical structure? Not necessarily, but again, I've found it helps! And as of next week, when I move into my new place, I'm hoping that the combination of having my heart and commitment to being here..along with a wonderful new home in which I can feel comfortable and happy in, will bring satisfaction and progress. Stay tuned for updates....:-)

Reading List

2008-07-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

Just for fun:

16 June, 1976

2008-05-31T05:40:00.000-07:00

This is a little early for June 16 -- South Africa's "Youth Day" -- but this week I was substitute teaching for my mum. The students' assignment was to write a poem about 16 June, 1976. So I decided to do the assignment too! 16 June 1976 was the day thousands of South African students marched in protest of the Bantu Education system. Black students were forced to study a sub-standard curriculum and were taught in Afrikaans, the language that, to them, represented their oppressor. Young SA policemen shot unarmed students and ignited violent riots across the country.

Here is a token to those students, in particular Hector Pieterson (above) -- the first child known to have been killed in the June 16 violence.

[this poem should be read aloud....it needs to be vocalized!!]

16 June, 1976:

Amandhla! Amandhla! Amandhla!
Cry Freedom!
The cry, the cry, the cry
becomes a scream
The scream becomes a yell
How can we, how can we
escape from this hell?

Toyi, toyi, toyi, up and down, up and down
All the way through this Soweto town
Toyi, toyi, toyi, can we change, can we change
this system, this apartheid, that will us derange?

We shout, we yell, we fight, we sell
Our future for our past.

Our past we touch, but cannot reach
Our past we know, but cannot teach
Our past we touch, but cannot reach
Our past we know, but cannot teach
Our past, our past
Our past dictates our future.

Our future, what’s our future?
Our futures don’t exist.
How can we touch, how can we hold what it is we do not own?
How can we touch, how can we feel, what has not already grown?
How can we touch, how can we hold, what it is we do not own?
How can we touch, how can we hold what has not already grown?

Our future
Our life
Our future
Our hell.

June 16, it came and went,
How much young hope, blood was spent?
Dreams poured, flooding down the streets
Streets filled with youth, lost, broken, bent.
Our hopes flowed with our shattered lives,
Our broken bodies, broken hearts,
They fled amongst our fleeing feet
Toyi toyi no more, this day is dead.

One shot killed Hector, hope and life
A generation died that night
A nation cut, slashed by a knife
A bloodbath, war-cry, battle, fight.

Where to SA? Where to from here?
A line drawn, ’76, that year
littered with blood, lost hope and fear
A line extends year after year.
’94, so bright a dawn,
A hope that was malformed, stillborn.

South Africa, South Africa
Amandhla! shout or cry no more
No more let children live in screams
And live to grow their adult dreams.

South Africa, South Africa
Free us from our unseemly past
“Let freedom reign” and no more pain
Follow us; please let it last.

Forced nomadicism...!

2008-05-31T05:11:00.000-07:00

OK, so I don't think "nomadicism" is actually a word...but is worth a try! And it truly describes my state right now: am in forced "exile" in my own country. How weird is that? Let's go back to April 5 though, when I last posted on here. In the past 2 months Zimbabwe has had an election (presidential AND parliamentary); failed to release presidential results for over a month after the election; released skewed results; holding a re-run in June. Oh, and in-between all that I was almost denied re-entry into Zim after a trip to Botswana, and then told I had to leave the country in 2 days -- which was then extended to 2 weeks. And therefore took myself down to Cape Town. Wow....

The elections? I'm sure I can't add anything new to the discussion around Zim's obviously flawed elections. Needless to say, we are still waiting for change. Imagine, even sitting in another country, I hesitate to write too much about anything political because I know how peculiar they can be with their "media" laws in Zim and I would hate to be refused entry a second time due to this (severely neglected!) blog!! But quite clearly we need change, we want change, and currently Zim is experiencing over 1,000,000% inflation. Insanity? Yea...

I arrived in South Africa to witness the xenophobic violence that has hit this country in the past two weeks. Your heart bleeds for these Zimbabweans, Mozambicans, Angolans, Somalians who are here legally and who are not in a position to return to the chaos of their own countries -- and who have now been displaced, attacked or killed simply because they are from a different African country. Why did this happen? Supposedly because foreigners are taking jobs away from South Africans. Truly? I don't know. I feel there is not enough information shared in S.A. about the need for foreign skills. For example, we have a severe shortage of teachers in South Africa. Without foreign teachers, well-qualified foreign teachers, South African students would not get an education.

Another point: during South Africa's liberation struggle foreign countries gave refuge to thousands of South Africans involved in the struggle. Other African countries gave us military bases nad tremendous support, without which we may not have achieved freedom. And we repay these foreigners' children, now seeking refuge in South Africa, with death and complete alienation. It is disgusting.

I have always had mixed feelings about being a South African. As a child I felt ashamed to be a product of the apartheid system and to be living in a country that so obviously discriminated against certain sectors of society. But after 1994 I felt liberated, as an individual and as a citizen. I felt like my country of birth had done something monumental -- taken freedom without heeding the natural pull towards civil war. We achieved what many countries have not achieved: a rainbow nation.

But during the past two weeks I have again felt ashamed to be South African. At a time when we should all be working together to build a stronger country and continent we have taken the lower road, the more shameful road of attacking people who are "different." We should know better.

Onion economics (oh, and elections)

2008-04-05T08:35:00.000-07:00

While Zimbabwe holds its collective breath, hoping that this is indeed the "Final Push" (i.e. that our president is finally going to step down and respect the electoral laws and vote of the people) we continue with our upside-down lives. I say "upside-down" because it is only in Zimbabwe that you could have hundreds of millions of dollars in your bag (if not billions) and yet still not be able to afford a basic meal!

In fact, I've decided to call Zimbabwean economics "Onion Economics." Let me explain: a few nights ago some friends and I were discussing how expensive onions and tomatoes were. Yes, we can almost understand onions being expensive. Why? Because we are importing them. (crazy, yes, but true) But tomatoes grow easily in Zim and are in fact more expensive by weight. Why? And why exactly are these two simple vegetables (some may claim tomato is a fruit, but that's a debate for another day) more expensive than beef?? None of this makes sense!

Last week I bought 3 small onions for $40,000,000. Yes, $40 million! Admittedly that is equal to approx. US$1 on the parrallel market here in Zim, but it is a huge amount of money for 3 small onions. When my friends and I were bemoaning the state of the onion, one also mentioned how he used to use an onion without thinking about the cost of it. And if an onion went bad in his fridge, he simply threw it away. Now, however, is a different story: now we use half an onion, and leave the other half in the fridge. When we find that half, we split it in half again and almost miraculously manage to make a single onion stretch over 3 meals! This is why I call this craziness "Onion Economics." Now we await some concrete election results...

To change, or not to change...that is the question!

2008-03-06T04:35:00.000-08:00

It is the question indeed. Or at least it is the question du jour! “Change what?” I hear you ask. Forex, of course!

Yesterday I heard that world-renowned Zimbabwean musician, Oliver Mtukudzi, will be performing at the Harare International Conference Center this weekend. The ticket cost? A mere $100 million for pre-booked tickets; $200 million at the door! No big deal, right?

Right! Unless you don’t have hundreds of millions to throw away on a night out.

But this is where the dilemma of being a foreigner (with the requisite “forex,” or foreign currency) becomes an issue. Do I pass up a chance at watching this incredible musician for a matter of US$4? Just because I don’t have the Zim cash on hand? Or do I suck it up and change the forex and go to the concert? The problem with changing forex is that you know you won’t be able to buy it back (hence my panic in my previous posting!)

I decided it was worth the US$4 and today managed to get the incredible rate of Z$25,000,000:US$1…so guess I’ll be going to see Tuku on Saturday! That is, if the tickets haven’t sold out……but what are the chances of that in these times of hyperinflation?!

"How is it in Zimbabwe?"

2008-03-03T23:19:00.000-08:00

This is a question I often get asked -- or variations thereof. "What is life like there?" "How do you live in Zim?" "How do you survive?" "Why are you there?"

Well, I won't attempt to answer all of those questions, but I can answer what my life is like:

Unfortunately a lot of it comes down to economics, and I would like to illustrate this by a couple of examples. (now, I give these examples ACUTELY aware that I live a very privileged life compared to millions of people living here...so although these things affect me, imagine the person who is earning 1/100th of what I am and has a family to feed)

My last post was about being a billionaire. Ha ha ha....

Last week I decided I better renew my British passport, as it expires in March. I was delighted to learn I could pay for the renewal in Zim dollars (or Zim kwatchas, as we often refer to them...!) I called AND emailed the British Embassy to check on the Zim$ amount and was told to come in and renew it before Monday, as the price would be adjusted on Monday. The renewal fee was Z$1.5 billion (now, I am earning a bit over a billion/month...so you do the maths!) But that was OK, I had been paid for a music gig in US$, so I arranged to change some money at a very high rate -- Z$20million:US$1, which almost covered the full renewal fee.

So Friday morning, rushed around trying to avoid traffic in town (because my car fanbelt has broken and I can't afford to fix it!) and met up with my reliable forex trader; changed the money; ran downtown to the British Embassy. Of course the elevator wasn't working, so I ran up the eight flights of stairs to get to the Consular offices. Handed in my papers and pile of Zim dollars, only for the woman behind the counter to say "Sorry, our fees went up today to Z$4.5 billion." Ahhh........!!!! So I promptly ran down the eight flights of steps and went back to work. And spent the next hour making sure I could change my Zim dollars back into US$ -- which I will change in a few weeks when the rate flies up enough for me to renew my passport! Crazy.

Then there was the saga of the packet of chips. On Saturday morning I met with a few friends for coffee, and had popped into the supermarket to pick up some groceries. I didn't pick any up, because I was horrified at the prices: a 150g packet of local chips was being sold for Z$55million!!! A HUGE amount of money here (well, at least it was last week!) But one of the friends I met assured me that at another supermarket they were going for a meagre $20million. So after coffee I rushed off and bought a few packets, narrowly missing the price increase there -- by the afternoon they were also charging $55million!!

So what is life like here? Yes, we may be having our big build-up to the March 29 elections. But on a day-to-day basis, 100,000% inflation reduces all of us to simply rushing around trying to beat the daily price increases, and stretching the fixed amount in our pockets to the upwardly-rising costs!

Crossing the $1,000,000,000 mark (yup, that's $1billion!!!!)

2008-02-20T00:04:00.000-08:00

By the end of this month I will finally be considered a billionaire!! What more could I want out of life, right?! Wrong!

Apparently the Zim government has just released last year's inflation figures -- 66,000%!!! Incredible. Absolutely incredible! What I'm referring to as incredible is not necessarily the inflation figures -- those are completely understandable given the level of corruption and mismanagement rife in Zim at the moment. What is incredible is that this figure can be released in the national media and not elicit even a murmur of dissent from the general population. Perhaps we have learnt our lessons well.

So with these figures in mind, and with bakers pushing for bread to be $5,000,000/loaf, I am relieved my salary has crossed the billion dollar line. I just hope by the time I receive the money I can still afford what is in the shops! Now I will be walking around, like everyone else here, with a brick of our new (and already out-inflated) $10,000,000 notes!

In Zim we used to joke that everyone's a millionaire. I'm guessing that joke needs to be updated, upgraded perhaps, like inflation!

The party continues...!

2008-02-04T07:31:00.000-08:00

And now to portray a slightly different side of Zim. For a few days our power situation was "dodgy" (as we say here) and electricity, at best, intermittent. (i.e. 24 hours off; 11 hours on; another 24 hours off, and so on) And then, for one blissful week I had uninterrupted electricity for 7 full days!! During this time we had a birthday celebration for two dear friends -- Wadzi and Chiyedza, both in the picture below. For a while I thought that perhaps Zesa had forgotten to turn us off, until Saturday evening when I was again plunged into darkness for a few hours.

It's a funny thing here in Zim: we have so little, and yet we have so much. The party we had at my place last Friday reminded me of why I'm here. Sounds like a silly thing, but a group of people -- many of whom didn't know each other -- and are from varying racial and social backgrounds, came together to celebrate. Music pumped; braais (barbecues!) were made; meat was cooked...and all in a torrential downpour!! Did the Zimbos let the pouring rain and imminent floods deter them? Hell, no!! The party continued.

And that is what never fails to amaze me. No matter what dire situation is thrown at Zimbabweans -- no money in the banks; no water in the taps; no teachers in the schools -- the party somehow continues. People smile; people help each other; life goes ON! Perhaps there's a lesson to be learnt here...?!

Zim Unplugged

2008-01-20T23:27:00.000-08:00

The lights swayed, surged, flickered twice and then darkness.

Complete darkness.

People in their houses again sighed "Oh Zesa" (ZESA is the Zimbabwean electricity so-called "provider")

Here in Zimbabwe, we are used to the power going out. We are used to countless nights in the dark. We are used to hauling out the braai, yet again, to cook our dinner over wood or coals. Usually we can see lights flickering from across the road or across the city -- it's simply our turn for load-shedding. But Saturday was different. A silence and eery darkness fell over Harare and across the country. People rushed to call relatives in remote parts of the country, before the phone towers stopped working too, which the quickly did.

Driving home was weird - no traffic lights; no street lights; the odd adventurous car wandering the empty streets of Harare.

Turns out we've been unplugged. By South Africa that is. For years, decades in fact, South Africa has held a vital bargaining chip against Zimbabwe: Eskom's power lines that provide us with a huge amount of electricity. Despite massive human rights violations; rigged elections; racial violence, this bargaining chip has neverr been used.

But Friday, beleaguered South African President Thabo Mbeki went home empty-handed, following a day of negotiations between MDC and Zanu. Surprisingly (hint of sarcasm!) these talks failed to bring about a clear resolution to Zim's political problems and Mbeki was once again made to look ineffective. Friday night he went home. Saturday night Zimbabwe was plunged into darkness.

The media says it isn't political. But the burning question is: will it bring people back to the table? Doubtful.

Today's a good day to be alive!!

2007-12-07T04:02:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, after much frustration with various aspects of life in Zimbabwe (be it queueing for hours for petrol; not being able to get food in the shops, or trying to get end-of-term results entered into the computer when the electricity cuts daily!) a friend of mine said "Today wouldn't be such a bad day to die!" That comment has stuck with me through the past few days and through numerous challenges, trying to get from Harare to Johannesburg. And hsa given me much cause to think and evaluate the state of things -- both in my life and around me.

Today is NOT a good day to die. Today is a very good day to be alive. To LIVE! And you know what else, if we are willing to stick it through and anticipate something good around the corner, things can have a way of pleasantly surprising us.

Since I missed America's Thanksgiving, I've decided to take today as my day of Thanksgiving, and I want to take this opportunity to say hwo grateful I am for everything that has happened in the past year. Lessons I've learned. People I've met. Places I've been to.

This international nomad is once again pitter-pattering around the globe (well, at least around southern Africa!) This time two days ago, I had just secured Police Clearance on my car, which I planned to bring down to South Africa, from Zimbabwe. I then joined what turned into a 4-hour petrol queue in Harare. I HAD to get petrol before leaving Zimbabwe, in order to make it as far as the border. Well, I was about 40 cars from the front of the queue when they announced that the fuel had run out and we should all go home. This was at 4:30 p.m. and the fuel stations close at 6:00! What to do? Almost immediately a friend-of-a-friend called me to let me know he had a fuel coupon for me with a different garage, and where was I as he could drop it off? I hadn't even made it back to my car after talking to the attendent at the petrol station!!! So 2 minutes later I met this guy and he gave me the coupon I was owed. He then offered to sell me another coupon at a very favourable rate. 10 minutes later I had an overflowing tank of petrol and 10 litres in a gerrycan -- I was ready for my trip!

The day to leave came (yesterday) and my brother, a friend and I got up at 3 am to get an early start and avoid a snarl-up at the SA/Zim border. By the time we got to the border I was so ill I could barely stand or keep consciousness!! So when a border officer on the South African side told me I couldn't go across because I was a South African citizen driving a Zimbabwean car, I just about collapsed (this was after 7+ hours of driving!!) My prayer?? "God, please help me quick!" Well, He did, and soon I was not only feeling a lot better, but the complication was resolved and we were on our way to Joburg.

I had a meeting to attend in Johannesburg at 7:30, and with our delays it was looking highly unlikely we were going to make it. But 5 hours later, we were at the meeting and although I still wasn't feeling that great (by that time I'd been driving for 14 hours and had had one sandwich the whole day!) the meeting was incredible. It was about Christian healing, and when I slept last night I felt so much better--just calm and grateful for making it through the day!

Today, again there were all sorts of hold-ups that threatened to disrupt important plans and every time things seemed to work out (again, several "God, please help out here"s later!!!) One meeting I had to go to, it looked like I was going to be at least 30 minutes late, and I'd already left a message to excuse myself -- when I found myself at the venue 1 minute EARLY for the appointment I was pretty stunned!

So....why am I rambling on about all these things? Why indeed?! I guess, like I said, I'm just so grateful to be alive. So grateful to be part of this world. So grateful for the experiences -- good and bad -- that I've had this past year. And so grateful to God for always, ALWAYS showing us the way forward -- no matter what we've done; no matter how many wrong turns we've taken, He is always right there next to us guiding us along our way. And when we fall, we just gotta be willing to let Him gently pick us up, brush us off, and set us back on track.

OK, now I really am rambling, but I realized something about simply the process of writing a blog. Although we may journey physically -- and this year has seen a lot of travel for me -- the journey is almost always a mental journey more than a physical one. The lessons we learn are for life.

Because I can...

2007-11-01T06:02:00.000-07:00

I'm apologize in advance if I seem to use this blog simply to vent about this or that aspect of living in Zimbabwe, but I am using it partly to maintain my sanity! (and so as not to lose all my friend here by complaining incessently to them!)

I am feeling particularly frustrated today by what I've identified as the "Because I can..." attitude here in Zim. It is true, Zim has become a lawless society and most of us have to break the law in some way simply to survive. I won't list the numerous ways I break the law here, but needless to say, there are some strange laws here and it is necessary to break a few of them simply to survive. (not that most of these are laws I'm too concerned with, but it is actually illegal here to be homosexual; to criticize the president; to change money on the black market....and even to charge a reasonable price for certain commodities!)

But because, on a daily basis, we seem to break so many of these silly little laws, I suspect we become careless about breaking ones of more serious consequence. My gripe today is with rules of the road. (and again, in case I start sounding self-righteous, I am not always the best or most careful driver, but I do try my best...!) But this morning, on my way to work I was again overtaken by a brand new Mercedes Benz on a small, residential road. I was driving at a very reasonable 70 km/h (already 10km/h over the legal speed limit)

Now this is a road that has several schools on it, and leads the to the University of Zimbabwe, hence lots of pedestrians. The Merc overtook me simply because he could -- faster car could skip ahead of me, regardless of oncoming traffic and numerous pedestrians....oh, and that little thing called a speed limit!

I thought to myself that recently I've become frustrated by being frequently overtaken by big, shiny cars on small, residential roads. So thought I'd start counting how many times in a week this happened to me (and for those who have driven with me, you know I drive at a healthy speed!!) My guess was that this probably happened 6-7 times a week.

I was wrong. It has happened 5 times so far today!!! And every time on a small, residential road. Insane!!!

And a few days ago I saw a man drive his luxury car off the road, onto a bikepath, around a pole, and back onto the road simply to avoid a speedbump!! What the.....??!!

Now maybe I'm being picky, but these are normal safety measures that are standard to almost every country in the world. Basic road safety. But here, nobody's looking. The cops are too absorbed with keep shop prices down and bashing the opposition party to be concerned with something as mundane as rules of the road. So things on the road get worse and worse as the country becomes increasingly lawless. And as the rich get away with more and more in their wheelings and dealings, they seem to think they can rule the road and wipe out the "little guys" there too.

Such is life in an African dictatorship state.....!!!

The Return of Zesa!

2007-10-25T03:39:00.000-07:00

Again, I have been away from my blog for far too long. Partially lack of time. Partially because of this new phenomenon....Facebook!!! But today I thought I MUST post a little message to celebrate the Return of Zesa. Now for those of you not familiar with Zesa...they are a popular, much loved and much hated organization here in Zimbabwe. They are the providers (or withholders -- depending on the day) of electricity across the country. They are also the topic of much discussion, speculation and teeth-gnashing here.

Today, I would like to celebrate their return at my home and at my workplace! Since Sunday last week (a full 11 days ago!) I have been without electricity at home and at work. Now power cuts are quite a frequent thing here. But when the power is still out in the morning, having been out the entire day and night before, your stomach starts to turn and a minor anxiety plays with your mind. But you brush it aside, and think, "Oh well, Zesa has just decided to turn us off for a bit longer today! It'll be back later or maybe tomorrow."

When it is still not back when you test your bedside lamp the next morning your mild anxiety turns to total confusion. "What is going on?" you exclaim as you leap out of bed, bound towards your fridge, empty out all your meat and run to the nearest friend with a deep-freeze and generator. "Ah, there must be a fault somewhere, but they must be working on it" everyone grumbles at school.

By day three you are fuming by the time you get to school. Third day of no coffee; no hot water....and now your electric security gate is starting to malfunction. That night you have to make a plan for getting back into your home and millions of logistical equations later you manage to make it into your dark home.

Day four comes around and you can't stand the thought of taking another cold bath. You call every friend you have and arrange to go and shower, make coffee and sit and bitch about Zesa for at least an hour! This then becomes your life.......for another week!

By last night I thought I was going out of my mind. I had barely slept at home for a week. I hadn't bathed at home for almost 2 weeks. I hadn't bought perishable food for the same amount of time (not that there is much of that in the shops these days!) But last night was a friend's birthday. A friend and I had attempted to bake her a cake in the afternoon....but alas, it flopped, because the generator was turned off 20 minutes after the cake made it into the oven. Using our precious rations of sugar, flour, oil, we soldiered on and made another cake in the evening -- this time the generator stayed on until the cake was fully risen!

Sadly our spirits did not rise with the cake and we sat around bemoaning our fate in this dark land, despairing whether we would ever get electricity again. But then....at 9:00 I received a text message from a friend: "Are you at home? I just got Zesa back!!! Yay!!!!" I leapt out of my seat -- much to the surprise of my friends -- and rapidly sent an inquiry to my landlady. Got a similarly celebrative message back from her "Yes! Yay yay yay!!! Zesa is back, even without violence from us!!! You can come back home now!!" After making arrangements with others on my property to have the electric gate restored to working order, I settled back down in my seat and waited for power to come back on at school (where we were having the party). 15 minutes later the generator went off. A collective groan was soon followed by a load cheer when Zesa lit the lights for the first time in 11 days!!!

Why, oh why do we stay in Zimbabwe? It makes us grateful for the little things.

Zimbabwe, Land of Contradictions

2007-09-10T00:45:00.000-07:00

Oh Zimbabwe, land of Contradictions. How do I put into words what it's like to be back here after 6 weeks in America?

Let me tell you what I was expecting: no food; no electricity; no water; no petrol and all the etceteras. This was pretty much how the country was when I left, and every news report I read while away was just like that.

But Zim has a way of surprising you. Lifting your spirits when you least expect it and turning your head and heart in a completely different direction.

I flew from Boston to Amsterdam; Amsterdam to Johannesburg. Then took a lengthy bus-trip from Johannesburg to Harare (don't ask me why....economics! But 20 hours on the bus was not the greatest thing in the world....not to mention the 4+hours at the border!) The South African border town, Musina, was depressing, even at 3 a.m. (or whatever ungodly hour we got there). Desperate Zimbabweans were anxiously buying loaves of bread and 2litre bottles of Coke. Then jumping into overloaded cars, full of food, electronics and everything else you can procure in South Africa but not in Zim! So I was a bit alarmed about what the state of things would be like heading back into Zim. The lengthy wait at the border did nothing to alleviate my fears!

Neither did the first "petrol station" we stopper at. I use the term "petrol station" liberally -- in fact, there was no petrol at all. And the "food shop" had nothing but bottled water in their fridge. The water was price-tagged at $150,000/bottle. But when I got to the cashier he wanted $250,000. Since I only had $500,000 on me I thought better of spending half my cash on a bottle of water, so went without!

But my arrival into Harare was great. A friend was waiting for me at the bus station. All my luggage arrived in one piece. When I arrived home my dear landlady had left a cake and flowers on my kitchen table. And I opened my fridge to find milk, bread, eggs...oh, and not to mention that the fridge was actually on -- we had electricity too!! Now, these things sound so simple, but at the moment Zimbabwe has no flour, so there is a severe shortage of bread...and everything. So to find these basics in my fridge was nothing short of a miracle. And that is the miracle of Zimbabwe. My domestic worker, Maria, had spent 3 hours in a queue that morning to make sure she got me milk and bread so that I had something to eat after arriving!! Amazing. In fact, almost made me weep. Here, these people who I've become accustomed to helping out and thinking of as reliant on me, had gone so far out of their way to make sure I had bread when I got back from America.

So yes, Zim...oh Land of Contradictions. How you move me. How we love to complain about you, but oh how we love you! It's good to be home...:-)

things that make me mad....!

2007-08-09T04:34:00.001-07:00

A couple of days ago I was standing in a queue at the post office in Harvard Square, here in Cambridge, Massachuestts. I was behind a gentlman who admired my Kenyan necklace. We got chatting and I discovered he was Nigerian, educated at Harvard and a writer. We then got chatting about African literature and.....Zimbabwe (surprise!). He asked me how things were in Zim. I replied that things are not so good -- something of an understatement, all things considered. He then proceeded to tell me that "it's funny that the victor (i.e. the British....!!) is now crying the victim." and that "Zimbabwe's economy collapsed due to Britain's sanctions." Although i was boiling inside, I simply replied that everyone in Zimbabwe is crying right now and terminated the conversation.

Seriously? In Harvard Square I get to hear Zanu's propoganda spouted by an educated man??? Jeepers.......save us Lord!!!

Traveling again...

2007-08-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update on my life; for the past few months I've been battling electricity cuts, water cuts, food shortages, fuel shortages and numerous other exciting things in Zimbabwe! Have been enjoying my teaching/counseling job there and thoroughly enjoying the adventure and vitality that defines life in Zim right now.

A week ago I hopped first on a bus and then on a plane, and have escaped for a few weks to the land of "plenty" --America -- where I'm working until early September. Then I intend to hop back on a plane, and then on a bus, and make my way back to Harare.

So much has happened in the past few months, but I'll write when I'm not so boiling hot and close-to-melting in Massachusetts! I hesitatingly just typed up and posted a poem I wrote ages ago.....I think so many of us white Africans frequently deal with feelings of weirdness and identity crisis. This is one way I've been able to get some of the stuff out of my head. Sorry if it sounds harsh! [and hope anyone is still reading this blog...i know I've SEVERELY neglected it....promise that while I have access to internet AND electricity, I'll make the most of it!!!]

:-) V

My People

2007-08-03T14:20:00.000-07:00

I wrote this when I was in a particularly "angsty" mood...and feeling the weight of colonialism on my lily-white shoulders and all the etceteras.

MY PEOPLE

You wanted to leave a legacy
Your mark on the land
Carve out a new country
A paradise for your children,
Your children's children.
My people, that's me.
And what do we have?

Your scourge is what's left
Your touch is clear
Wherever you went
Oh, your mark is there.

You boast of a trek,
"Great" you call it, down south,
What's so great
about a river that bleeds the
blood of your hosts?
You're the guests, remember?

Free passes to Africa
that's what you were told.
Land, land, land, diamonds and gold.
Take the lot, take it all,
Whatever you can hold.
But who's buried on that land
you farm so well?
Whose wife in your bed
So close you hold?
How many must live or die
For your paradise world?

A collection of hands up north
Wait, no, there's more
Hands, hands, hands, bought or sold
Yes, that's what we're told.
Rape, capture, steal, no, grab
Lives for free, just like the land,
Take whatever you can hold?

My question, my people,
is how did you hold on so long?
Did you all agree with this
take take take take?
Was it fear?
Was it greed?
Were you happy?
Did you plead?
You "gave" independence...
how generous. Were "they" ready?!

The better the paradise
The stronger you held
Holding out against hope
Couldn't you tell? Couldn't you tell?
Your legacy's of shame
Guilt, death and pain
You left us with nothing
But a conscience of hell.
Is this what you saw,
My people...my people? My hell!

What do we share?
A past?
A home?
A history?
A skin?
What makes you "my people"?
How can I let go?
My people. I thank you
for your legacy, the scourge
continues to spread
Continues to bleed
even after you're dead.
Let the blood run dry
Let us start anew.
Can we bury the past...
No?
That's what I dread.

An email update from a crazy land...

2007-03-15T03:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't written for ages for several reasons -- one being that internet has been down for a few weeks. Another has been, how to prioritise what to say: so much has happened in Zim in the past few weeks it's hard to know where to start. So I've taken the easy way out, here's an email I sent to a friend in the USA a few days ago, which will hopefully give some insight into what we're dealing with here. Like I say in the email, life is a bit surreal, because with all this going on, my week has been busy with music eistedfodd practices with the school orchestra. A surprisingly peaceful, enjoyable pursuit while the country falls apart. The only noticeable disturbances I've experienced personally are:
-- more frequent electricity cuts
-- prices in the shops doubling every few days (has increased over last week to a scrazy level)
-- notable increase in police/military presence, everywhere

Am a little nervous to post this posting because everything's being watched, censored, etc.....but I also feel if my personal "freedom of speech" starts being imposed upon, what's the point in me being here. So....enjoy!

"...Here things are interesting. To be honest, things have been MUCH tougher than I expected and to all appearances the country seems to be imploding by the day. Inflation has hit astronomical heights -- it is said to be over 1,600% per year, but the actual cost of goods in the shops is often doubling every week, or even overnight. So going shopping has become a pretty scary experience, and one to be avoided as much as possible!! (which is obviously tricky!!) You get into "hoarding" mode....if you see something you think MAY be cheaper in relation to everything else, you buy large quantities of it and then hand some out to your friends, or just keep it until the prices go up! Is kinda crazy, and really messes with your head. Oh, the one thing that doesn't go up is.....salaries! On the "unofficial" or black market exchange rate (which is the most realistic gauge of the value of the Zim currency right now) I'm earning less than US$50 per month at this moment!!!! Seriously scary!! However, by the same token, my rent for last month was around US$6.....for a two-bedroom cottage, water electricity, garden, and garage included!!!!! hee hee....so very strange economics!

Then there's the actual situation on the ground. This past weekend was momentous -- apparently there was an opposition rally in one of the high density areas and all the opposition leaders have been arrested -- all of them, can you imagine??!!! We are almost existing under a state of emergency. All political rallys have been banned; there is a curfew in some areas; opponents to the government have been threatened with extreme violence -- which we saw evidence of this past weekend, when the ralley took place despite warnings. Someone was shot dead by police. It is so weird listening to the news reports about it (all media is state-run) They literally don't know what to tell the population. In some reports they deny that the ralley took place and say it was a flop and nobody showed up -- and on TV they show us video footage (no doubt pre-recorded!) of the area completely deserted. But in other reports they allege that the opposition protesters were attacking cops in the hundreds and overturning buses etc etc etc -- and that because of this one of them was shot dead. Will be interesting to see what happens today....we're anticipating people taking to the streets in solidarity with the arrested leaders and those injured or killed yesterday. But you can never actually tell what will happen here.

So yes, is a very interesting situation.

Me personally, am enjoying being here despite the struggles. School is going surprisingly well, and this week is looking like it will be hectic, with several of my students participating in the music eisteddfod. It is so weird going on with these "normal" things when we feel the country on teh brink of burning. But that's the game we play in Zim -- we are "civilized" so we keep going with "civilized" activities!!!!

I haven't had internet for almsot 2 weeks, so got a million emails to reply to...."

Subsequent to this email being sent we have now seen footage and photographs of the opposition leaders who were "released" on Tuesday -- they had all been severely beaten while in police custody, something that has riled up the public even more. People are becoming bold. Police are getting beaten up too. This may be the moment Zimbabwe has been waiting for. The moment of change.

An overdue update

2007-02-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

Welcome to a MUCH overdue update from this international nomad, who's wandered....wandered.....wandered......since that last post in distant October. In early November I had an urgent call from my family in South Africa to help take care of my younger brother. So up I packed and trotted down South for a couple of months. He's doing much better now!! (and much thanks to friends, colleagues, everyone for much-needed support!)

Was quite an adventure, that started with a 3-day drive with my dad, from Harare to Cape Town. If you want to clear your head and destress, I'd recommend a 2,700 kilometre drive to anyone!! Especially in southern Africa. On the Zim side there was hardly any traffic (one of the side-effects of an ongoing fuel-crisis) and on the SA side you felt so relieved that you no longer had to dodge oversized pot-holes, driving was a pleasure! I had heard such nightmare stories about...
- the border (Beit Bridge)
- the roads (that was true!)
- the taxi drivers (on the SA side...they have quite a reputation!)
- the danger of hijacking

that it was quite a relief to make it to Cape Town in one piece, albeit slightly exhausted. Actually, just remembered....it was [i]supposed[/i]to be a 3-day drive, but Dad and I being the crazy drivers we are turned it into a 2-day drive and got to Cape Town at 2am after an 18+hour day of driving!

The few months in-between I'll gloss over, as I basically spent time at home caring for my brother, and enjoying Christmas with family!

The drive back to Zim, I undertook alone. To all intents and purposes, a CRAZY thing to do, but one that turned out...alright?! (OK, OK, I admit, I did take a slight detour through Mberengwe!!)

The drive from Cape Town to Johannesburg went smoothly enough, with my little Opel flying across the plains of southern Africa....even the border went relatively smoothly and I was readmitted to Zim, despite STILL not having a work permit!

But it was the northern side of the border I had some problems. Of course, as I approached Zim I cranked up my Oliver Mtukudzi tape and really felt the groove of returning to Zim. This side of the border there were no road signs...and somehow I only noticed one road going north. That was my first wrong move! I was expecting to stop at a place called "Lion and Elephant" motel for lunch, but after an hour of driving north of the border, I still didn't see it -- and that was when I started paying attention to the road signs....yea....I was on my way to Bulawayo instead of Harare (completely wrong direction!!!) And although I'd brought 20litres of extra petrol with me, there was no way I'd make it to Bulawayo and THEN to Harare on the petrol I had -- and no, there was no petrol available anywhere.

But you know what they say about us southern Africans...we're good at "making a plan". Or in my case, not so good!

I looked on my nifty new roadmap and discovered there was a road that cut across from West Nicholson to Masvingo, which would get me back in the right direction for Harare, without too much of a detour. And the road looked like it wouldn't be more than 100kms. Great! No problem!

WRONG!!!

It turned out to be a dirt track.....yes, 96 kms of dirt road! Well, at 4 p.m. that didn't seem like such a bad thing. But after an hour of driving at an average of 30km/hour, with a torrential downpour washing what was left of the road away and not having seen a single other vehicle it was suddenly a very BAD idea! Oh, and did I mention there was no cellphone reception at all??!!! Yea......gotta love rural Zim!

Somehow -- and I give God a LOT of credit for this -- I got to a little place called Mberengwe in one piece, and the car was miraculously still going too (despite being rattled far beyond what any car should have to endure.....and one incident that involved lots of mud, and ditch and pitch-darkness...!) By the time I got to Mberengwe it was after 9p.m. and that is far too late to be on the road. But my adrenaline was pumping after my cross-country rattle&ride, so decided to plunge ahead into the darkness and attempt the remaining 4 hours to Harare. At 2 a.m. I finally made it to Arundel and with relief lowered myself into a hot bath and finally took a deep breath......it was New Years Eve and 2006 was almost, thankfully, over.

National (in)Sanity

2006-10-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

How do we measure sanity? Or insanity... Every day I read the Zim news: an exam paper stolen; a bank governer warning people to stop the farm invasions (when he himself allegedly snatched more than one farm); no clear presidential successor -- and the ensuing battle between the different factions; inflation of between 1,000-4,000%!!! National insanity, right?

But no, I think the national insanity comes in when people like you and me continue with life, pretending that things are "normal." Last weekend I met a friend at the shops and was trying to buy some groceries...he gasped at the checkout counter when he was asked to pay almost double for his beers what he had paid the previous week. I gasped at the price of my 1litre of Coke -- on Friday it had been Z$400/bottle; on Tuesday it was Z$1,000/bottle. 3 days and Z$600 difference! I simply couldn't bring myself to pay double what I would've paid last week for the same commodities. So things like meat, cheese and sometimes even bread become luxuries. Oh yes, last week I stood in my first bread queue!!!! I did get a loaf...and smiled about it too!

So what exactly is insanity? Or rather, what is National (in)Sanity? Insanity is when you are willing to work a professional job and be paid less than a factory worker in a less developed country than this one, yet are grateful when your salary increases, but not at the same rate as inflation. Insanity is when you smile and laugh when you can't get petrol, and have to ground your car for more than a week! Insanity is when you read the newspaper and watch the news on TV despite the fact that you know they are state controlled and most of the information is blatant propoganda. And what's more, you will actually pay money for a newspaper and a television license, which you know is going straight to the government!

In the US, where I was living before Zim, there is much talk about the state of our National Security. Now in Zim, I find myself wondering much more about the state of our National Sanity. Will this country ever pull itself out of this implosion of confused financial and social policies? Are we a sane nation, or an insane one? What will happen when things "come right" - as people continue to affirm will happen (despite all evidence to the contrary). And what wil the general population do at that point...will they be sane....or insane?!

The Rains have Come!

2006-10-08T09:12:00.000-07:00

The view outside my apartment at school....the ground littered with Jacaranda tree blossoms!

It's been a while since I last wrote, and lots has happened in-between (including a spontaneous weekend trip to Johannesburg, in which I indulged in quantities of retail therapy!!)

But today something significant happened: the first rains of the season arrived! We had some minor showers last week, but today we could hear it, smell it, feel its arrival on the parched earth. Rain isn't something I generally think about, but here in Zim, at the end of the dry season, you can't help but anticipate the rains. You look to the sky and analyze whether or not that small cloud will turn into something more substantial, or whether it will dissipate into the endless blue above.

And then when it suddenly arrived about an hour ago, you could hear this rustling coming from a distance. For a moment I wondered if it was a strong wind, when the rain pounded down on us and brought the ground back to life! I think it's the smell that gets me most about the rain here in Harare. The smell of life and living creatures and of everything waking up! You can't help but feel like praising the skies, the gods and whoever else, that this great gift of life continues!!

On a more sobering note, we continue to struggle with other things: last week my mother and brother were here for a short visit from South Africa. The trip was made ridiculously awkward due to the shortage of fuel. There was (and still is) no fuel to be found anywhere!! The government has pegged the fuel price at Z$300/litre, and in reality the fueling stations should be selling it at around Z$1,300. So they would be selling it at a loss. So what happens? We do without! I drove to church earlier today -- my first trip off campus this week -- and there were hardly any cars on the road! Since the petrol stations aren't selling fuel, the only place to get it is the black market. There are two major problems with that: 1.) you could get arrested (seriously...it is illegal to buy/put in fuel if you haven't bought it at the pump) or 2.) it could be watered down petrol, in which case your car will pour out black smoke and have numerous other problems. Neither one an attractive option!

So yes, the petrol has been tricky! But we press on, and hope things will improve soon. Are our hopes realistic, or are we simply being hopeful fools?

The difference is in the basics...

2006-09-14T23:20:00.000-07:00

I have to start the morning with a good, strong cup of coffee, and today realized that perhaps there was a comparison to be made between different places in the world simply in the preparation of your food and drink. Here is an illustration of how I've prepared my coffee in different areas/phases of my life:

Living in Cape Cod, Massachusetts:
- I worked from home so would wake up and put a pot of coffee on the stove, using a gas-burning stove. The smell would greet me as I entered the house after an outdoor shower (yes, being a beach area, outdoor showers are very popular, even in America!) I'd then warm up some milk and froth it in a nifty little container, made specially for frothing milk!

Living in Cambridge, Massachusetts:
- For the last six weeks I lived in the USA I stayed with a dear friend in Cambridge, while working retail part-time. The pace of life in the city is a little different from the Cape, so here I'd wake up and put on the electric coffe-machine and warm my milk in the microwave. I didn't worry about frothing it - time was always of the essence!

Living in Harare, Zimbabwe:
- This morning I made my coffee as I always do: when leaving for my shower I put a pot of water on the stove to boil. (and it's good news, the electricity is working!) When I return the coffee is boiling and I take out my little coffee funnel and filters and wait for the water to pour through the Zimbabwean-grown coffee. The milk is "Chimombe" - long-life milk, which you depend on here, in case the electricity goes out and your refrigerator turns off! I make sure the sugar (which can also sometimes be a shortage) is tightly sealed, otherwise the ants, always looking for an opportunity to eat through your precious resources, will find their way in!

So there is a simple illustration of how life is different for me. After the redundant protests that were supposed to have happened yesterday, I was thinking that really life is not that different here from anywhere else. We human beings are amazingly adaptable creatures and it is the little things that make a difference in our daily life.

Yesterday I heard another interesting expression from a friend here. She asked me if it was a 011 or a 010 day. Hm...what do you think that could mean?!

It's refering to meals! In Zim, where food is ridiculously expensive in comparison to the salaries, people regularly skip one or more meals. Yesterday was a 111 day for me - I managed breakfast, lunch and supper. But most days have been 011 (no breakfast, but had lunch and supper!) As I write this I have to wonder about today. For how many people around me will today be a 000 day?

The Dry Season

2006-09-14T01:15:00.000-07:00

We are dry, we are dry,
Blood sucked from our lives
Life sucked from our veins
We are dry, we are dry,
The wind blows, blows through us, around us, before us
We are dry...we are dry.

Our voices, our tongues
They are dry, they are dry
Where's my tongue? Where's my voice?
It is dry, dry, dry...
Why?

When will the rains arrive?
When will our voice return?
Will my hope survive this dry, dry, dry?
Will I make it out alive?

Rains water our hope
Make it alive, alive, alive
Weed out my doubts
Let them die, die, die
Our voices, our tongues, don't let them sigh, sigh, sigh
Let us live, let us die
Make us alive, alive, alive.

***************************************
In Zim the dry season is a time when the earth is cracked, the water has disappeared, and everyone looks with hope to the coming of the rains - which we hope will arrive in December. But what of the dryness that eats at our souls? Has Zimbabwe lost hope? How do we regain our hope and vision for a brighter tomorrow, when today seems so limited, frightening and fragile? Do we look to the sky for rain to water our dreams? Or do we look deep inside the earth to find the life buried beneath, the water that will allow us to rebuild, grow and strengthen ourselves?

Yesterday there was supposed to be a protest march in Harare, organized by the trade unions and other human rights groups. What happened? Very little. Why? The leaders of the march were arrested before the march could take place. Without leaders, people will not follow. Especially if there is the threat of violence - which there was. I had my first taste of what happens when the "people speak" in Zimbabwe...the center of town gets shut off by the police. Everyone who has to drive into town has to go through numerous roadblocks - which were still there when I went to church at 5:00p.m. and still there when I returned around 9:00 p.m. So another failed attempt to voice concerns? Perhaps... What is the alternative? This morning I was talking to a friend who put it very well. He said that Zimbabwe has to look within to solve its problems. For too long we have been looking outside - looking at colonization; looking at international donors; looking outside the real reasons the people here are suffering. As a people we need to be strong and find our voice - quench each others' thirst and find a united, Zimbabwean way forward. Violence is definitely not the answer - history has taught us that. But complacency isn't either. So when will the rain come?

Rise!

2006-09-11T07:32:00.000-07:00

"Rise in the strength of Spirit to resist all that is unlike good. God has made man capable of this,..."

What powerful words on an emotionally and spiritually-charged day! I read this passage this morning while preparing for the day - it's written by a US religious/thought-leader whose work I study, Mary Baker Eddy.

September 11 will be a day etched on people's minds and lives for a long time. I was living in Boston at the time and can vividly remember where I was, what I was doing, watching those planes slam into the Twin Towers. The phonecalls to relatives far south in Africa, to assure them I wasn't anywhere near it and physically unaffected by this, the tragedy of modern terror. THe anxious phonecalls trying to reach friends in NY.

But today was different. Today I woke with a feeling of hope, a feeling of possibility. A sense that we can rise above all the junk the world throws at us and be free. After reading this passage above I pondered what it means to "rise in the strength of Spirit." What does it mean for the USA? What does it mean for the rest of the world? What does it mean for us here in Zimbabwe? What does it mean for me?

If God has made us capable of all good. If God has made us, has made me, capable of resisting anything that is unlike good, that means we have the strength right now to rise up and BE everything we can be. We cannot be held back - as individuals or as nations or people - by anything evil.

It is my sincere hope and prayer that the world will exercise this God-given ability. That we, here in Zimbabwe, don't give in to whatever form of evil tries to hold us back. That as a world we don't grow bitter and selfish and only look out for our own interests. As an individual I pray that I never get trapped by circumstances or become governed by anything aside from God, Spirit.

Wishing everyone a blessed day...Keep the spirit alive and never stop hoping and striving for good. When we stop doing that, that is when evil has won.

Money, fuel, electricity

2006-09-08T05:36:00.000-07:00

Three things on many people's minds in Zim: Money, fuel and electricity (or the lack thereof!) These three things are basics many of us need to function effectively, and they are three things that are sometimes hard to come by here. But so far so good...right now I have enough of all three so am feeling very blessed!!

I can hardly believe a week has gone by and my first week of school is finished. (you know the expression "TGIF"??!! Yea....ahh.....!) For those of you who don't know, I'm going Careers Counselling at a private school in Harare, and the third term of the year started this week. Since I'm living on campus I also had hostel duty (although thankfully don't have it this weekend)

There has been so much to learn and so much to adjust to. Since I was last here (May this year) the Zim currency has been "re-evaluated". WHat does this mean? Well, when I was last here you could buy a litre of petrol for $250,000. Yes, $250,000!!!! So to buy 20 litres you would be forking over wads of millions of dollars! As of the middle of August, the Reserve Bank slashed three zeros from the currency to "restore dignity" to the Zim dollar. Well, petrol is now "only" $700/litre - the equivalent of $700,000/litre with the old currency. So not sure how much "dignity" has been restored - or rather, how much the average person cares about the dignity when they can't afford the commodities because inflation is still raging ahead at over 1,000%!

But like I said, I am feeling particularly blessed. The dear friends I bought a car from handed it over with a full tank of petrol - so so far I haven't had to use a precious petrol coupon. (yes, we use coupons instead of cash!)

And then there are the electricity cuts...but that's another story for another day.

Needless to say, I'm loving it here! Every moment is an adventure and you can never predict how your day will turn out as there are so many variables!! But my friends and colleagues have been amazingly patient with me this first week and have really helped me settle in...and so far I haven't frozen...but there's time. (oh yes, didn't anyone tell you that the effect of global warming on Africa drops the temperatures dramatically??!! Kidding...I know no such scientific information...all I know is that September's supposed to be warm here and at night it is FREEZING!!!) Welcome to Africa!!!

Arrived in one piece...more-or-less!

2006-08-31T04:19:00.000-07:00

I arrived in Zim a few days ago, Monday to be exact. And although I arrived in one piece, not all of my things did! Having spent a fortune (small fortune!!) on excess baggage at Cape Town International Airport (did they seriously expect me to get all my things down to 23kgs??!!) my bags arrived in tatters at Johannesburg International. You can imagine my horror when I grabbed my bag and saw my degree and other important documents hanging out through holes in the fabric!! I was on my way to "real Africa" and already my luggage looked like it had been mauled by wild animals!

However, the luggage damage was not without its perks - they quickly gave me a new suitcase (far superior to my canvas bag, I might add) and sent me off with instructions that I was not to pay any additional excess baggage charges! So after wiping some hemp foot lotion off my new high heels, and hurriedly repacking all my things into another fancy suitcase, I made my way to the departure lounge and - much shopping later - was off to Zimbabwe.

Again, I'm not organized enough yet (technology-wise...and that's another story completely!) to get my photos uploaded, but as we passed over Kipling's "great, grey, green, greasy Limpopo river" I marveled at how the river creates a natural carving through the dry earth and divides South Africa from Zimbabwe. I also thought about all those desperate Zimbabweans who risk their lives crossing that river, seeking a better life in South Africa. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I had my doubts as we crossed the border, but those doubts were quickly put to rest once I arrived in Harare.

I was met by a dear friend from Arundel, who willingly used precious petrol to pick me up from the airport. It felt "right" being back in this country, despite the obvious problems they're experiencing at the moment.

And despite predictions of woe from friends in South Africa, I've settled in here remarkably quickly and things have worked out more rapidly than even I expected!! First and foremost being....TRANSPORT! This can be quite a problem in Zim, and another good friend of mine had arranged to sell me her daughter's car on my arrival. So by the time the sun set on my first evening in Zim, I had my little Opel Kadett parked outside the hostel at Arundel!! It's a very spiffy little car, and I was thrilled it even had 3/4 tank of petrol (a VERY hot commodity here in Zim)

The second thing to work out was a new cellphone SIM card (fyi, my new number is +263.91.461.009 - friends, please call me if you feel the urge!!) Again, I had been told I would never get a SIM card, as the cell networks here are overloaded and they hardly ever release new lines - you can imagine, the "black market" for SIM cards is booming, but overly priced and a bit dodgy! But again, at an amazing pace, by the end of my third day I had not one, but TWO SIM cards...again due to the amazing generosity and helpfulness of friends and colleagues here in Harare!

So with transport and a somewhat reliable communication device I am a happy camper indeed! Will continue my musings soon...but while we have electricity AND Internet-access I should quickly post this..the electricity power cuts are another story for another day :-)

Going north tomorrow

2006-08-27T04:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a whirlwind week in Cape Town - so much so that I've used a photo from London 'cos I haven't yet uploaded my Cape Town photos from my camera to my computer! (admittedly, they are mostly of my adorable 3-year-old nephew, Seth...so excuse the picture above from my day in London - outside the "Bok Shop"!) This week has not only been a whirlwind, but also quite chaotic. I had a giant 4.5footX4.5 foot container of "used household goods" arrive on Monday, which had to be cleared through customs; unloaded and collected from Cape Town harbour. It was quite an escapade, with Dad, Jeremy (my brother) and I taking two cars into town, and doing two trips back and forth! While driving down the highway we all looked a bit "boxed in" to our little cars, with boxes, music stands and tennis rackets piled high about us!

But everything, thankfully, arrived in tact, so now my parents' house is full of all my boxes that have arrived from America. It's funny, I don't normally think of myself as too materialistic, but it's funny what comfort you get in seeing some of your own things! Just seeing my bedding, paintings and teddybears was so exciting!!

Tomorrow is the big moving day. My long-suffering father will be getting me up at 3:00 a.m., because of course I'm taking the earliest morning flight out of Cape Town! Ugh.....

So by this time tomorrow afternoon I should be arriving in Harare. I'm excited and nervous - it's quite an endeavor starting a new life, a new country...again! But since I've been at Arundel School for several months this year, it also feels a bit like returning to a much-loved friend/family member. Am looking forward to it! My next update will be from a few thousand kilometres further north on this beautiful but troubled continent. Look forward to being in touch soon! Sending love from Africa :-)

Pitter patter round the world!

2006-08-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

I should've written ages ago, but have been absorbing being "back" in Africa! My last day in Boston was, well, emotional, but the subsequent journey across 6 time-zones and three continents was exhilirating. I had a wonderful 10 hours in London, which I made the most of despite the flight delay (what a week for all the USA-UK flights to suddenly have a terror alert...very selfish of me to think that way, but I do wish it hadn't happened the week I was moving!!) Because of the flight delay in Boston, I missed the meeting I had scheduled in South Kensington at 10:00a.m., and only made it there by 11:30 - by which stage the girl I was meeting had left! Nevertheless, I had a hearty English breakfast at my favourite spot there - Cafe Floris, a little Italian cafe which serves a delicious breakfast for just under 4 pounds!!

I then went on to visit my great-uncle Jack, who lives in the Barbican - a short ride on the Underground from South Ken. He lives at a place called Charterhouse, where elderly gentlemen live. The building is so typically English, and so quaint in the middle of London - dates from the 1400s, I think. (if only I'd uploaded some pictures I could illustrate all this...but alas I'm yet to get that organized!) So I had lunch with a group of elderly gentlemen and we all discussed the sorry state of Zimbabwe, and they questioned me as to why on earth I was headed to such a "savage place"!! (you can imagine the news they get in the UK about Zim!!!)

Next I rushed to meet a "Brick Project" friend - Simon - in Leicester Square. At a later point I'll post some photos from our wander around Trafalgar Square. I dutifully had photos taken in front of the South African and the Zimbabwean Embassies, which are conveniently located nearby each other. I also posed next to the "Bok Shop" (Bok is short for Springbok...our South African rugby symbol!)

We then rushed to the airport, and soon I was back in a security line, hoping my electronics would make it through yet another scrutinizing baggage check. As every item was removed and wiped and re-packed, the security girl told me how awful their week had been, and how she'd managed to make it to work with only some cash in her pocket and a cellphone round her neck! What a funny world we live in!!

My flight to South Africa was great and, lucky me, had a free seat between me and the next passenger (a bit of space is always an unexpected luxury!) And my flight seat-partner was wonderful! We discussed the state of the world, and in particular Africa, a lot of the way..and slept and watched movies the rest. (don't ask me what I watched - I have a terrible memory when it comes to films as some of you probably know!!)

I better sign off now, and have little else to share. The rain has followed me around the world - starting in Boston, then a sprinkling in London, and end-of-winter showers in Cape Town! This week has been a rush, and I've managed to unload my shipment of "used household goods" from the Cape Town docks; buy a car from a friend in Zim; and spend quality time with my family (and even managed a walk up the mountain today...which I'm starting to feel in my lower thighs!!!)

Good night from wintery Cape Town..I'll try to pop in another installment before leaving for Zimbabwe. Have you all been reading about the money issues in Zim?! It sounds like this week has been interesting...:-)

So long, farewell

2006-08-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

This is a rather lengthy email I sent out to friends last night, the eve of my departure from the USA:

Dear friends,

After one last stroll through a Harvard Square on this balmy, New England evening, I thought I would drop all of you an email on the eve of my departure from the United States. Tomorrow I'm leaving the US to take up residency in Zimbabwe. Yes, perhaps an unexpected turn of events - but perhaps not that strange! (for those of you who didn't know I was leaving, I'm so sorry...the past few weeks, months have been kinda crazy....beyond imagineable!!)

First of all, I want to say Thank You. Thank you to all of you who have made my life over the past seven years SO rich. Rich in culture. Rich in ideas. Rich in love. Everyone who receives this email has touched my life in some special way during the past seven years, and at this crossroads in my life I wanted to say a very special and heartfelt Thank You.

The past seven years have been interesting ones for me, and I still find it hard to believe that I've been outside of South Africa for almost eight years!! Incredible -- in some ways it feels like just yesterday that I was hugging my sister and crying my eyes out at Cape Town International Airport, just three weeks after graduating, and leaving for the big United States of America. Tomorrow I'll probably be doing the same when I leave Boston's Logan International and head back to southern Africa. Why? Because I will be thinking of all of you whom I love. All of you who have taught me so much. All of you who have taken me into your country, your lives, your homes. Again, thank you.

When I came to the USA I came in the hopes of doing something "good" for the world! I'm not sure I even knew what the world was like back in December 1999. I'm not sure I do now. But having visited friends, old and new, in so many different parts of the world, I hope I have a slightly better and more mature idea of the world we live in - and about ways we can make a difference. In many ways I've been disappointed with this world of our's. What awful things we've done to each other during the past seven years. What damage we've done both our planet and our brothers and sisters around the globe. At the same time there is good going on - it's just sometimes hidden beneath the screaming headlines! Just a few days ago I sat next to a man on a plane ride to Albuquerque, who told me about the way he prayed his way through an injust courtcase, and found strength from God. A few months ago, while in Tanzania, I walked down a street in Arusha with a young boy, discussing his culture and tribe. When we got to the end of the street, he innocently asked me what was special about my tribe. About a year ago a young girl in Lithuania told me I'd helped her answer two of her top three wishes: to meet an English-speaking person; and to be the best English speaker in her class! Perhaps these experiences sound sentimental and silly in comparison to the monumental challenges our world is facing. But to me, they gave me strength to keep trying. And moments such as these continue to remind me that we are such good beings; capable of SO much more than we realize.

OK, so philosophizing over! Firstly, I'm most grateful for everything I learnt at the Christian Science headquarters in Boston - where I worked from 2000-2004. This was my first professional experience, as well as my first taste of America, and I learnt more than I can start to describe! And worked with some incredible people, many of whom I hope will be friends for life! Secondly, I can't tell you what lessons I've learnt, what sights I've seen, and what incredible, marvelous people I've met as a result of being part of the Brick Project (www.brickproject.com)

In fact, one of the first Brick Project schools - Arundel School - is where I'm headed later this month, to work as their Career's Counselor! I was living and working at Arundel from Jan-May this year, and am so thrilled they're willing to have me back, permanently!!! I'll be continuing with Brick Project work, and am also in the process of starting an initiative for young Zimbabweans abroad called XYZim - Expat Young Zimbabweans. Our website will be www.xyzim.com - do check it out, there will be much more content coming soon!

Speaking of website, I'm hoping to keep a personal blog from now on. There isn't much on it yet, but do check in once in a while....and post your comments whenever you like! The blog is called "Musings of an International Nomad" (or "MIN" for short!) The address is: www.internationalnomad.blogspot.com. Do bookmark it!

Lastly, in thinking about the state of the world, I want to recommend one book and one film to you (and many of you have very probably already read this/seen this) During the past year I saw a movie that changed (or clarified) my perspective of the way the world treats Africa: The Constant Gardener, based on John le Carre. See it if you can!!

The book I just finished reading yesterday, but answered SO many questions I had about the USA. It's called "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" by John Perkins. I not only recommend this book, but challenge you to read it! It's definitely a page-turner :-)

Thank you, thank you again for being a part of my life! (and for reading all the way through this wordy email!!!!) And PLEASE stay in touch! Look forward to hearing from you as much as possible!

Love, hugs, and thanks,

:-)

-- Verity
PS Sorry if this email has been somewhat soppy - but if you can't be soppy on the eve of a new life chapter, when can you be?!!